Reaching for the Sun

I have had a very strange feeling lately.  The last three years have been very action oriented for me. I was always doing something. Either I was working on building the tiny house or I was working on selling our other house. At some point in there I found some time go to to South Africa which was less a vacation and more an exploratory trip to start building something there as well.  But now, the tiny house is nearly done, we live in an apartment in the city, and the next trip to South Africa depends on how much money we can raise. 

I feel a little stagnant. I feel like the bulbs of the daffodils, just below the surface of the earth waiting for the first warm days of early spring before I can push my shoots through the thick black soil. I feel a bit like Persephone. There are some big changes coming my way. I can't talk about many of them for some very practical reasons, but I am eager for the that time to arrive.  As I was sitting here feeling terribly uninspired and festering with the thought that I am not moving forward I was once again faced with how my life and the story of Persephone's journey is once again at the same place. Is it a coincidence that this stoppage is happening in the thick of winter?  Or could it be Persephone telling me to slow down, reassess, and begin to prepare for a reemergence - a reemergence that will be a complete transformation That is scary as hell.  I need this downtime to get my shit together and be able to unravel my new green leaves in the springtime sun. 

This is just another turn on the wheel. Another cycle of life, death, and rebirth. I have trusted Persephone to follow her down many times in my life. I follow every time knowing that beyond the darkness there will be sunlight. The turning of the seasons has never failed me, and my own personal seasons are turning along with them.  Big changes are terrifying. I should just snuggle deep in the darkness of the winter waiting patiently for my turn to reach up toward the sun.