10 Feet Small by Josh Joplin

In the summer of 2006, my partner Matt was invited to play drums for a service at our Unitarian Universalist Church. The theme was “The Gospel of Pop” and a full rock band played several recognizable songs and then the worship leader would speak on the spiritual themes of each piece. The songs included such pieces as “I Still Haven’t Found What I am Looking For” by U2 and “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera. The process got me thinking that there were pop songs that I loved that spoke to me about the story of Persephone. Some songs have distant connections, some more obvious ones. But one in particular has my attention right now. It is an old song by Josh Joplin and his first band. It is on a CD called Projectorhead, originally released in 1996, which Matt and I picked up at a Josh Joplin show several years ago. There is one song on it, "10 Feet Small" that really gives me a Persephone-like feeling.

The song starts out with a traditional American folk song called “Shady Grove”. The song comes from the 18th century and in the folk tradition there are countless versions of the song. The version Josh Joplin sings at the beginning of “10 Feet Small” is as follows.

Shady Grove, my little love
Shady Grove I know
Shady Grove my little love
Bound for Shady Grove

Wish I had a piece of thread
As fine as I could sew
I’d sew my true love by my side
And down the road I’d go

Cheeks as red as the bloomin' rose,
eyes of the deepest brown
You are the true love of my life
Stay ‘til the sun goes down

Shady Grove, my little love
Shady Grove I know
Shady Grove my little love
Bound for Shady Grove

Shady Grove, my little love
Shady Grove I say
Shady Grove my little love
And wait for the judgment day

I originally thought that I understood this piece of the song as something Hades would sing to Persephone, but based on the rest of the Lyrics I believe it may just be the other way around. It seems as if the name of the “little love” is, in fact, “Shady Grove” which I could easily see as a pet name that Persephone might call her lover. Many of the versions have different items that the singer wishes they could have. The Jerry Garcia version wishes he could have a banjo string made of golden twine. The Doc Watson version wishes he could have a big fine horse and corn to feed him on. I have not yet found a version where the singer wishes they could have a “Piece of thread as fine as [he] could sew” as Joplin sings. I also love the image of the judgment day. Since Judgement Day has so many mythical connections to the end of the world, or a big death as it were, I think it could refer to the day that Persephone can return to the underworld to be with her lover again. This reference is also something I have not found in any other version of Shady Grove that I have found. With these two images that are so specific in my mind to the myth of Persephone, I simply love the thought of this song being a love song from Persephone to Hades. And I see the remainder of the song a Persephone’s message to her mother, Demeter, upon her return to Olympos.

Looking out my window high above I am 10 feet small
Suddenly I feel and I’m alive and I see me fall
See me fall
Thinking things I never thought before, I will not atone
The sin of knowing I am not wise but I’m not alone
Not Alone

Somewhere between fear and frustration I find myself
And I am someone else
I find myself, and I am someone else

Looking out my window high above wishing you were here
I pretend I understand love but I’m not that clear
Not that Clear
Somewhere between feeling and not feeling I find myself
And I am someone else
I find myself, and I am someone else

Who are you to tell me that you’re sorry?
I find myself, and I am someone else
Who are you to tell me that you’re worried?
I find myself, and I am someone else
I am someone else

Looking out my window high above I am 10 feet small
Suddenly I feel and I’m alive and I see me fall
See me fall

What this song touches in me is the feeling that Persephone must have when she returns year after year to stay with her mother, but be distant from her husband. When Persephone returns each year, she is no longer the innocent maiden she was the first time she played in the fields with the other virgin goddesses. She says "Somewhere between fear and frustration I find myself and I am someone else." I can see her high on the towers of Olympos overlooking the green grasses and the blue sky touched with cottony white clouds. She had become to use to the black and white world of the Halls of Hades where the people and the palaces were simply colorless and she was the only touch of brightness in the kingdom. She feels alive, as she has been in the land of the dead for the last 6 to 9 months, depending on the version of the myth you read. But she recreates her decent in her mind. She has thoughts that are new to her, thoughts she would have never had before she journeyed into the underworld to be with her husband. And she is not willing to think these things are wrong in any way. As she says, “the sin of knowing I am not wise, but I’m not alone”. Does this mean she has come to terms with being less than wise or has come to terms to the fact that she is no longer alone – that Hades is with her even when she is apart from him. She is, in fact, someone else. She is no longer the virgin but the wife and queen.

There on Olympos, though, she wishes Hades could be with her. But this is not his world. She is to spend this time with her Mother alone. I love the ambiguity of the statement that “I pretend I understand love, but I’m not that clear.” The story of Persephone has been traditionally associated with abduction and rape, so Persephone herself might have some mixed feelings. Is this love? Is this Stockholm Syndrome? So what is the place between “feeling and not feeling”? For me this place would be numbness; a place where you could feel only a dull ache where something once left a gaping wound. In that numbness, once again, Persephone knows that she is not the same goddess she had been before her journey to the underworld.

I even seen this accusation aimed at her mother, Demeter: "Who are you to tell me that you’re sorry? I find myself, and I am someone else. Who are you to tell me that you’re worried? I find myself, and I am someone else." How do you explain to your mother that you are no longer the child that she coddled? You have moved on, you are an adult and you will live your own life? Persephone has anxiety about this, but at the same time she is ready to finally stand on her own two feet and not let her mother be in charge of her future. Things have changed, and Persephone knows it in her heart even if Demeter cannot accept it.

The song ends for me with Persephone watching herself fall. Her fall is her return to her husband and her own world. This place is her place now, not the heavenly realm of Olympos. It is only in the Underworld that Persephone is her own person.

Song can be a form of prayer. And when I listen to this particular song, I feel connected to my Goddess in a way I wonder if others can experience. I hope that this glimpse into the world of Josh Joplin and Persephone can help shed light on that feeling.

You can hear the song at the Neos Alexandria Music page here.  Scroll down to the Mix Tape section, look for Persephone and click on the blue dot for the song.